I've been saying it for too long now and now it's time to face reality and admit the facts.
I'M A FREELANCE PHOTOGRAPHER
I've been running away from this fact for the past few months as I've been too busy letting all the small details of work, editing and life get in the way. So much so that I have neglected this here blog.
Truth be told, I haven't really let myself believe in it all quite yet. I seem to run away from the fact quite often. Almost as if its a little game I keep playing in my head to stop the mundane thoughts and tasks ruling my daily routines.
In the past month I have landed my self quite a few jobs that I have been truly honoured to work on. I have rubbed shoulders with successful business owners and held a meeting with others. Yeah thats right, that guy with the beard you know, the one who makes fart jokes and says fuck one too many times has donned a freshly ironed (well, non creased from the shop hangar) shirt and held meetings.
The incredibly huge boulder I feel I have been trying to push up a hill whilst popping veins, sweating and cussing over has finally started to move.
Honestly, I'm pretty stoked. But while being honest I cant help but admit it's slightly shit curdling. Now this thing is in motion the day of filling in tax returns whilst squinting at faded receipts is slowly creeping closer.
I'm following a business plan. Yes a business plan, like real adults and business owners talk about. A few weeks back I was staring at a huge challenge and ramming my head into every obstacle I approached in hope that I'd be able to achieve every thing over night. Panicking. Sweating. Editing as many photos as humanly possible and staying up till the early hours. Oh, not to mention drowning in a sea of uncertainty with nothing but anxiety to keep myself afloat.
After a few days away with my wonderful wife in the sunshine of Crete, it suddenly dawned on me; if I'm going to be successful and fuckin do this I need a plan. I need some solid guidelines to stick to. Some goals to annihilate. Oh, not to mention more baklava. Seriously, that shit is delicious!
So since being back in the UK I have scribbled in note pads, written on scraps of paper, eaten baklava and scratched my chin a lot.
I'm very aware that this is the first win I've had in a while and that the joy may possibly be short lived, but hell, while it's around I'm sure as shit gonna enjoy it. More tough times and hard work lay ahead, there's no denying that. However, I'm now more prepared and excited about it. I'm actively seeking more clients instead of fretting over the ones who already love my work and believe in me.
I'll leave it here while we're on a positive note. It's time for a brew and a bit of Bob Ross on the big screen before bed.
Be sure to check back in soon as I will be posting more frequently from now on.