This is where everything seems to have fallen into place and I've found some form of balance.
See, for me to reset and free my mind, I need to be moving. Like going on a road trip or a long ride. I like to travel all the back routes and rat runs. Motorways in the car are boring. They make me feel as if I'm being forced to move at the same pace as other people. You can't stop to do anything, unless it's spending money or taking a piss. Less travelled roads provide richer scenery and the chance to take it all in. These are the places where my I feel most at home. These are the places I feel most creative.
For a while I'd started to ruin these journeys for myself. I'd feel guilty for stepping away for a bit. I felt like I should be creating something. Using my time to make something epic. So I'd force myself to document every trip instead of clearing my head. This destroyed any form of creativity and led to another fiasco. Driving was spent wishing I'd ditched the car and cycled. Then cycling saw me wishing for my camera, conveniently on the seat next to me in the car. This became a stupid, frustrating battle. Which then turned into a maddening obsession. I'd wound myself up so much I wanted to buy a smaller camera specifically for cycling and road trips. In hope that I'd have something on me at all times that was still capable of producing professional results. Fucking stupid I know.
Then it all clicked.
My phone at this time, was held together with electrical tape and costing me fifty quid a month. It had become super buggy and both cameras were royally fucked. I decided to put a new camera on hold and look for a better phone and contract. This is where my big sister saved the day and kindly gave me her old iPhone 5 (Thank you Smeg! I seriously owe you!!!). New phone, then a new contract and I was set. A new, useable phone with a camera on it.
A small... Pocketable camera... Perfect for the bike... Why buy a camera when I can use a phone? It's a bit amateur isn't it? Bit "Uncle Bob"?! Loads of other people do it though, right?
It fits the saying, "The best camera is the one you have with you".